Ghost of You
by Koneko-Hiruka
Summary: Some time has passed since the Holy War finally ended. The exorcists were victorious, but at a terrible price. Now Lavi lives a life of solitude in the castle that was once the Black Order's headquarter. Rated M for character death.


Sunlight filtered in through dust-covered glass and aged, thinning curtains falling onto a rather small and long body. A dull green eye opened as the sun's rays touched his skin but didn't seem to warm the flesh at all. Weakened hands move up to press rough palms into the ragged and worn mattress and blankets. Slowly rising, the tired eye searches the all too familiar room wishing to see a sign of life but finding none. Bony fingers wrap around a tattered blanket pulling it close to the thin body. The blanket hangs loosely off the sharp, too defined shoulders and over the scrawny, jutting ribs barely seeming covered by tanned flesh and a terribly faded green shirt.

Standing lethargically, messy red hair was left to hang as it would while the usual headband stayed on the dust covered and decaying mahogany desk. Leaving the room, he walked sluggishly down the empty hallway holding the blanket close for warmth but gaining none. The soulless eye searched the uncared for hallways. Suddenly, he heard the sound of footsteps behind him. He turned quickly, hopeful to see someone else, but saw nothing. Sighing sadly, he continued on to his original destination.

As he reached the cafeteria, he stumbled back into the kitchen. He remembered times when the place was full of happily talking finders, scientists, and exorcists. He went to a cabinet that seemed to be in fairly good condition and opened it. Reaching in, he grabbed a container holding slightly old and stale crackers. He then walked over to the counter where a canteen laid that was halfway filled with warm water. Grabbing the canteen, he walked out into the empty and dirty mess hall. Sitting on one of the old benches, he places down the container of crackers and canteen. His eye searched this room as he had his own and the hallways.

While eating some of the stale crackers, he stopped hearing what sounded like the doors to the large room being slammed roughly open. He turned quickly and his tired eye widened seeing the tall dark figure with long blue black hair pulled into a high ponytail. He smiled hopefully since this seemed real.

"Yuu-chan?" he whispered with a rough and raspy voice.

When the dark glare turned to him, he went to get up and run over to him. Once he moved, however, the other vanished leaving him alone. A tear rolled down the strongly showing cheekbone and down his cheek finally falling from his jaw to be absorbed by his thin blanket and shirt. He turned back sullenly to finish the one cracker he was eating before pushing away the container. Sighing, he got up and walked out of the room and back into the hallways.

He stumbled uncaringly to the library. As he entered, he remembered the many times he'd had to work late or face Bookman's wrath. He walked to a side study room and sat in the chair. A small smile crossed his rough face as he remembered the time that seems so long ago that he'd complained to Bookman and called him old panda. It had resulted in the beating of a lifetime but now he'd prefer that even over his solitary existence.

As he left the library, he was about to walk by where Komui's office used to be and almost jumped as he heard Komui shouting for his younger sister. He quickly peeked in the room but sighed seeing nothing but the desk and old paperwork. He walked away from the room even more unhappy if it was possible. He then turned a corner and saw the forms of a sixteen year old girl with short black hair and a younger male with short white hair.

They were smiling and talking with each other while walking towards him. As much as his mind said it wasn't real, he stayed waiting for them to acknowledge him. Once they were right in front of him, he turned rigid as they didn't stop to talk to him or even greet him but walked right through him. More tears rolled down his face as he quickly walked to the training grounds. He went to a cleared area and sat down in the dirt and grass to try and meditate.

Sitting there with his eye closed, he flinched when he heard what sounded like Miranda, Krory, and Mari talking. He shook his head closing his eye more tightly. None of this was real. His mind was screaming it and he now wanted to believe it.

"I am the only one here," he told himself, "Everyone else either died or left. There is no one left that would even come here."

When the voices vanished, he sighed partially in relief though feeling emptier than earlier. He opened his eye and stood leaving the area. He hated being alone but he knew that everyone who was alive was probably trying to forget everything from this place. He couldn't let that past vanish, even if it cost him his sanity.

As he blindly walked through the halls since he had nothing to do, he turned hearing someone call his name. He shook his head seeing no one there. Then he heard it again behind him. It was Allen's cheerful voice. He looked almost scared behind himself. Standing there, he saw the shorter male with white hair. He had a bright smile on his face as he always would. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Looking to his side, he saw a concerned looking Lenalee. Her violet eyes shined with worry looking at him. She asked him in her soft sweet voice if he was ok. He shook his head. None of this is real. He closed his eye inhaling deeply. After exhaling and inhaling deeply a few more times, he opened his eyes to be met with dark serious eyes. He jumped back and before him he saw Kanda instead of the other two that had been there previously. He watched cautiously as the other went to speak.

"Baka usagi, stop worrying everyone," the other said in a rather harsh tone.

His eye widened and he put his thinned hands over his ears. He shook his head knowing none of this is real. He turned as the Japanese male vanished and ran blindly through the halls. When he finally stopped because his body ached all over from the exertion, he realized he was outside of the large building. He squinted his eye at the bright sunlight. His body shook from the adrenaline still pumping through his system. He walked to the edge of the area where the old headquarters was and knelt down looking into the dark depths of the water surrounding it.

As he gazed into it, he heard soft footsteps approaching him. He turned quickly and his eye widened as he saw his friends again. Lenalee, Allen, Miranda, and Krory looked worriedly at the thin male whereas Kanda simply had his usual glare but it seemed softer than it had always been in his memories. Tears streamed down his face looking at the others.

"WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!" he yelled then went into a coughing fit from the strain that had on his underused vocal chords.

The two females moved to kneel beside him, one on each side. Lenalee's left hand was placed over his while her right hand touched his bony shoulder. Miranda only barely touched his right hand with both of hers still as shy as ever. In his mind, he kept telling himself this wasn't real and unknowingly began muttering it under his breath after his coughing had ceased. He closed his eye tightly but when he opened it again they were all still there. Allen moved to kneel in front of him and offered a small smile before hugging him gently then moving back to sit in front of him.

"Lavi, we are real," the white haired boy stated calmly, "We're here because we're worried about you."

He shook his head in disbelief, "No you are all dead. I saw you all die with my own eye."

"But we aren't truly dead," Lenalee said gently, "We live on in your memories and many others. No one has forgotten us."

Uncertainty showed in the tired green eye then looked pointedly at everyone until he noticed Miranda shift beside him. The shy older woman smiled sweetly.

"You need to rest, Lavi," she said softly, "You're so tired so why not just rest?"

He wasn't sure why this was happening but then his eye became heavy. He felt so tired and didn't even notice as he fell backwards towards the water below. His half-lidded eye stayed on his friends as he quickly fell. He didn't feel the impact as his body hit the water or as his lungs began taking in water rather than air. Finally his eye closed and he sank to the dark depth of the cold water.

--

Bookman sighed quietly having been watching over his former apprentice today. He'd known this would happen and it didn't surprise him as everything unfolded. He'd always made sure the other never saw him and he watched quietly as the redhead fell over the edge. He watched on with calm disinterest but felt as a few tears slowly trickled down his aged and wrinkled face. Calmly, he walked into the castle and went to the library. He took one last look at the place where he'd usually encounter the other trying to teach him what he needed then turned and left. He'd write this down like every other important event he's witnessed and then continue teaching his new apprentice.

Bookmen are supposed to be unbiased and emotionless. They have no need for a heart or feelings. In the end, that was Lavi's downfall.


End file.
